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Thursday, February 27, 2014

#Excerpt from Bangkok Transit by Eva Fejos @fejoseva #amreading #mustread

“Sir, book your excursions now!”
“Taxi? Sir?”
“Limousine, mister?”
“Cheap tours to the River Kwai!”
“Sir, explore Bangkok with us!”
“Change money, sir?”
Paul exchanged two hundred pounds, and from that moment on he felt dizzy from the commotion. The arrival terminal of the airport seemed to be full of representatives from every single travel agency and taxi enterprise in Thailand. He almost gave in to the coaxing of the first taxi company, but someone took hold of his arm. It was the gray-haired man from the plane, the man who had given him his business card back in Amsterdam.
“Don’t do it,” he growled. “Over there…” he nodded towards the exit.
Paul followed him mutely. As soon as they stepped out of the building, he was overcome with the muggy, incredibly hot – or rather, scorching – air. Paul had never felt anything like it before. A drop of perspiration slid down his forehead and soon other drops followed in close succession. Suddenly, the jeans and T-shirt he was wearing proved to be way too hot. He already had his sweater slung over his arm.
“Haggle until you get to three-hundred bahts!” the man ordered.
“But the driver doesn’t even know where I’m going!” Paul said, bewildered, clearing his throat.
That blasted hoarseness again. The gray-haired man smiled.
“It doesn’t matter, my friend. Three hundred bahts, remember. Unless you’re headed to the River Kwai. And come find me. I’ll show you what’s worth visiting, what’s not in the guide books. Call me beforehand,” he added, extending his hand.
He should have also told Paul how to haggle. Over the course of his forty years of life, Paul had never done it before. He was turned down by quite a few drivers before he got the hang of it; finally, he got the fare down to three-hundred for a trip into the city. He sat in an air-conditioned, red-and-blue, Bangkok taxi; excluding numbers, the driver seemingly understood not a single word of English. Paul sat on the back seat, his suitcase lying on the passenger seat beside the driver, secured with a seat belt.
Why did I come here, wondered Paul, as they inched their way forward through the insane traffic. Several traffic policemen wearing surgical masks blew their whistles constantly, but their efforts were completely futile. This was a paradise for the insolent: only those who pressed on with the required aggression could move forward or change lanes. There were many brand new cars on the road mingled among old, rumbling busses emitting foul-smelling smoke. The motorcyclists held Paul’s attention with their death-defying feats. The “buffet cars” inching along in the outer lane slowed the traffic, and to top it off, the motor-powered, three-wheeled taxis, the tuk-tuks, cut in front of every vehicle. In Paul’s ordered world. The chaos of Bangkok traffic tumbled like an avalanche onto Paul’s ordered world.’
BangkokTransit
Bangkok: a sizzling, all-embracing, exotic city where the past and the present intertwine. It’s a place where anything can happen… and anything really does happen. The paths of seven people cross in this metropolis. Seven seekers, for whom this city might be a final destination. Or perhaps it is only the start of a new journey? A successful businessman; a celebrated supermodel; a man who is forever the outsider; a young mother who suddenly loses everything; a talented surgeon, who could not give the woman he loved all that she desired; a brothel’s madam; and a charming young woman adopted at birth. Why these seven? Why did they come to Bangkok now, at the same time? Do chance encounters truly exist?
Bangkok Transit is a Central European best-seller. The author, Eva Fejos, a Hungarian writer and journalist, is a regular contributor to women’s magazines and is often herself a featured personality. Bangkok Transit was her first best-seller, which sold more than 100,000 copies and is still selling. Following the initial publication of this novel in 2008, she went on to write twelve other best-sellers, thus becoming a publishing phenomena in Hungary According to accounts given by her readers, the author’s books are “therapeutic journeys,” full of flesh and blood characters who never give up on their dreams. Many readers have been inspired to change the course of their own lives after reading her books. “Take your life into your own hands,” is one of the important messages the author wishes to convey.
Try it for yourself, and let Eva Fejos whisk you off on one of her whirlwind journeys... that might lead deep into your own heart.
evafejos_portrait
About Eva Fejos, the author of Bangkok Transit
- Eva Fejos is a Hungarian writer and journalist.
She:
- has had 13 best-selling novels published in Hungary so far.
- Bangkok Transit is her first best-seller, published in 2008.
- has won several awards as a journalist, and thanks to one of her articles, the legislation pertaining to human egg donation was modified, allowing couples in need to acquire donor eggs more easily.  
- spends her winters in Bangkok.
- likes novels that have several storylines running parallel.
- visited all the places she’s written about. 
- spent a few days at an elephant orphanage in Thailand; and has investigated the process of how Thai children are put up for adoption while visiting several orphanages. 
- founded her own publishing company in Hungary last year, where she not only publishes her own books, but foreign books too, hand-picked by her. 
- Her books published in Hungary thus far are:
Till Death Do Us Part (Holtodiglan) | Bangkok Transit | Hotel Bali | Chicks (Csajok) | Strawberries for Breakfast (Eper reggelire) | The Mexican (A mexikói) | Cuba Libre | Dalma | Hello, London | Christmas in New York (Karácsony New Yorkban) | Caribbean Summer (Karibi nyár) | Bangkok, I Love You (Szeretlek, Bangkok) | Starting Now – the new edition of Till Death Do Us Part (Most kezdődik) | Vacation in Naples – the English version will be published in summer, 2014 (Nápolyi vakáció)
To be published in spring of 2014: I Waited One Hundred Nights (Száz éjjel vártam)
Bangkok Transit (English version): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HDIT4UY
Buy Now @ Amazon
Genre - Women's Fiction, Contemporary
Rating – PG-13
More details about the author
Connect with Eva Fejos on Facebook & Twitter

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Fool for Love by Merry Farmer @MerryFarmer20

Chapter Four

The Majestic rose up out of the water in its Liverpool dock with all the glory of its name.  Amelia held one hand to her hat and stared at its iron sides, its two dun-colored funnels and three tall masts.  The ship was a strange thing to her, a mixture of old and new, progress with hints of the past.  It had sails that could be unfurled in a pinch, but with its powerful new engines, the ship could cross the ocean in a week.

Seven days to a new world.  It was an exact description of everything her life had become.  It was every bit as daunting.

“What am I doing?” Amelia whispered, staring at the hopeful monstrosity in front of her.  It was one thing to accept an offer for a new life.  It was another thing entirely to go through with it.

She turned away from the ship, swallowing the nausea that had plagued her since she’d left her mother’s house.  This time it wasn’t morning sickness.  That was long past.  At the moment, the baby was the least of her worries.  Her stomach rolled over the idea that she was about to board a ship heading for a new life at the mercy of a stranger, a man, no less.  The last time she had trusted her life and her future to a man had been a disaster.

She paced, purse clutched to her chest, scanning the busy dock in search of her American savior.  Men, women, and children crowded the gangplanks, eager to start their journeys, excited and hopeful.  Many of the third-class passengers carried bundles that indicated theirs was a one-way trip as much as hers was.  Eric had left her there to go buy her ticket, but there was nothing stopping him from running off and leaving her stranded.  Like her father.  Like Nick.  She was a fool to agree to this.  She pivoted and marched away from the ship.

No, she stopped herself after a handful of steps, this was the best decision she could have made.  She may have felt small and lonely standing by herself, waiting, heart and stomach fluttering, but she was as much a part of the intrepid adventurers seeking a new life in America as any of her fellow passengers.  This was right.

Maybe.

“Well, we got a minor problem on our hands.”

The twang of Eric’s accent shocked Amelia from her worries.  She spun to face him as he approached her with wide strides, scratching his head and looking as guilty as a schoolboy.

“A problem?” she asked, voice fluttering.

“Yeah.  I went to buy you a ticket, but they’re plumb sold out.”

Amelia’s chest tightened and her tender stomach lurched.  “Oh.  Oh dear.  Well I suppose….”

She lowered her eyes, heart aquiver.  As quickly as it started, her chance for a new life was over.  All that worrying for nothing.

She squared her shoulders to face her fate.  “I … I thank you for your efforts on my behalf regardless, Mr. Quinlan.”

Eric’s brow crinkled into a curious frown.  “Regardless?”

“I suppose I could find work here in Liverpool,” she explained.  “Surely there must be a shop somewhere that would look the other way from….”  She lowered her hand to the mound of her stomach.

Eric’s lips twitched.  The morning sunlight caught in his eyes.  “I didn’t want to have to put you in third-class, so I told them you were my wife.”

Amelia blinked.  “You what?”

“I told them we’re newlyweds.  I reserved my stateroom in first class last year when I came over.  Good thing I paid for it then too, ‘cuz after this fiasco of a trip I’ll never ride first-class again.  Anyhow, when they said they didn’t have any more rooms, I told them you were my wife and that we would be staying in the same stateroom.  They sold me a ticket for that.”  He handed her a fresh, clean ticket with her name written as ‘Mrs. Amelia Quinlan’.  “Sorry.”

Amelia held perfectly still on the outside, but on the inside her heart pounded and her stomach rolled with guilt for questioning him.  He wasn’t abandoning her.  He had gone out of his way to help her.  Her heart squeezed as it never had before.  She took the ticket from him with a trembling hand, hardly noticing when her fingers brushed his.  She was rescued after all.

“Thank you, Mr. Quinlan.  You have no idea how much this kindness means to me.”  She had to concentrate on breathing, standing straight, and looking up into his handsome eyes with a smile to keep her tears at bay.

“You don’t mind sharing then?” he asked her.

FoolForLove

Buy Now @ Amazon

Genre – Western Historical Romance

Rating – R

More details about the author and the book

Connect with Merry Farmer on Facebook & Twitter

Website http://merryfarmer.net

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Read Other #Authors in Your Genre & Other #Writing Tips by Michael Reisig #amwriting

There are no secrets here. Most of this is just hard work and paying attention.
1)    Read other authors in your genre  – read other authors in your genre – READ OTHER AUTHORS IN YOUR GENRE.
2)    If you haven’t already, you should be taking courses on creative writing, literature, and grammar.
3)    One of the biggest things is “live” – Live life to the fullest, experience, experience, experience; that makes the great writers.
4)    Constantly challenge yourself with creative ideas – never stay “in the box” for the sake of comfort.
5)    Talk with other authors – learn the things they’ve discovered. Never be shy, or too certain of yourself – almost anyone can teach you something if you’re paying attention.
6)    Learn to use the web as not only a source of information, but a source of ideas. Don’t plagiarize, but learn from how other people say things, approach situations, etc. Find new ways to forge existing concepts – because there are very few things that are actually “new.”
7)    Listen to your friends when they read your stuff – if they don’t like something, it doesn’t make them wrong.
8)    Don’t ever be afraid to rewrite. Some of the best books written took many turns before they arrive at the best-seller list.
9)    Don’t allow your ego to override your intelligence. Beware of “vanity publishers” who tell you how wonderful you are while holding out their hands for your money.
10)  Have faith in yourself. Never give up. You would be amazed how many of the top selling authors today pasted their walls with rejection slips. You could be the next Clancy or Hemmingway. It would happen, if you don’t give up, if you continue to hone your craft.
road_to_key_west
The Road to Key West is an adventurous/humorous sojourn that cavorts its way through the 1970s Caribbean, from Key West and the Bahamas, to Cuba and Central America.
In August of 1971, Kansas Stamps and Will Bell set out to become nothing more than commercial divers in the Florida Keys, but adventure, or misadventure, seems to dog them at every turn. They encounter a parade of bizarre characters, from part-time pirates and heartless larcenists, to Voodoo bokors, a wacky Jamaican soothsayer, and a handful of drug smugglers. Adding even more flavor to this Caribbean brew is a complicated romance, a lost Spanish treasure, and a pre antediluvian artifact created by a distant congregation who truly understood the term, “pyramid power.”
Pour yourself a margarita, sit back, and slide into the ‘70s for a while as you follow Kansas and Will through this cocktail of madcap adventures – on The Road To Key West.
IF YOU ENJOY THIS NOVEL BE SURE TO READ THE SEQUEL, "BACK ON THE ROAD TO KEY WEST" (To be released in late August or early September, 2013)
"Jimmy Buffett should set this tropical tale to music! The best Key West stories can only be written by those who have lived here, and Reisig expertly captures the steamy, seedy, beautiful allure of the islands. “The Road to Key West” takes readers on a hysterical journey through the humidity and humanity that only exists in the lower latitudes. And much like the Keys in the 1970s, it’s a hell of a trip.
—Mandy Bolen, The Key West Citizen
"The Road to Key West" combines the dry cleverness of Lewis Grizzard, the wit of Dave Barry, and Reisig's impeccable sense of timing. It's an action-packed, romantic, charming, hilarious take on the ‘70s and its generation. A must-read!
—John Archibald, Ouachita Life Magazine
Buy Now @ Amazon
back_to_key_west
From the best-selling author of “The Road To Key West” comes a sequel guaranteed to take the reader even higher – another rollicking, hilarious Caribbean adventure that will have you ripping at the pages and laughing out loud.
“Back On The Road To Key West” reintroduces the somewhat reluctant adventurers Kansas Stamps and Will Bell, casting them into one bizarre situation after another while capturing the true flavor and feel of Key West and the Caribbean in the early 1980s.
An ancient map and a lost pirate treasure, a larcenous Bahamian scoundrel and his gang of cutthroats, a wild and crazy journey into South America in search of a magical antediluvian device, and perilous/hilarious encounters with outlandish villains and zany friends will keep you locked to your seat and giggling maniacally. (Not to mention headhunters, smugglers, and beautiful women with poisonous pet spiders.) You’ll also welcome back Rufus, the wacky, mystical Jamaican Rastaman, and be captivated by another “complicated romance” as Kansas and Will struggle with finding and keeping “the girls of their dreams.”
So pour yourself a margarita, and get comfortable. You’re in for another rousing medley of madcap adventures in paradise, with “Back On The Road To Key West.”
IF YOU ENJOY THIS BOOK BE SURE TO GET THE THIRD IN MICHAEL’S SERIES; “ALONG THE ROAD TO KEY WEST”!
______________________________________________________
EDITORIAL REVIEWS
Michael Reisig takes us back once again to the Key West I wish I had known – and that others wish they remembered more clearly. Kansas and Will are back in “Back on the Road to Key West,” with their trademark penchant for sultry sarcasm and sun-drenched excitement. Once again Reisig captures the character of the Keys in a way that proves he’s been here – and perhaps done that. No one wraps us in humidity and surrounds us with saltwater like this guy, whose tales of the tropics draw us constantly back to their welcoming, yet provocative shores. -- Mandy Miles, The Key West Citizen
Having lived in Key West in the late '70's and early '80's, at a time when Mel Fisher still hunted the Atocha, shrimp boats filled the harbors, and ‘square grouper’ were still an abundant species, Michael Reisig's Back on the Road to Key West, transports me back in time. Will Bell and Kansas Stamps face an assortment of ruthless antagonists and chase adventure with the abandon of the era, and whether you lived it or not, don't miss the chance to now. Vivid imagery, strong prose and an exciting plot make this trip with the boys worth taking. Enjoy the ride!"
-- John H. Cunningham, author of the Buck Reilly Adventure Series
Stumbling their way in and out of trouble and fortune, Kansas Stamps and Will Bell continue to be the idols of what every true Parrot Head imagines real life in The Keys would be -- full of spontaneous adventure. What a great read!
– Bryan Crews, former president, Tampa Parrot Head Club
Buy @ Amazon
along_key_west
WHAT IF YOU DISCOVERED A DEVICE THAT MADE PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH?
Fast-paced humor-adventure with wacky pilots, quirky con men, bold women, mad villains, and a gadget to die for…
In the third book of Michael Reisig’s captivating series, Florida Keys adventurers Kansas Stamps and
Will Bell find their lives turned upside down when they discover a truth device hidden in the temple of an ancient civilization. Enthralled by the virtue (and entertainment value) of personally dispensing truth and justice with this unique tool, they take it all a step too far and discover that everyone wants what they have.
Seasoned with outrageous humor and sultry romances, Along The Road To Key West carries you through one wild adventure after another. This time, Kansas and Will are forced to wrest veracity and lies from con artists, divine hustlers, and political power brokers while trying to stay one step ahead of a persistent assembly of very bad guys with guns.
In the process, from Key West, into the Caribbean, and back to America’s heartland, our inadvertent heroes gather a bizarre collage of friends and enemies – from a whacked-out, one-eyed pilot, and a mystical Rastaman, to a ruthless problem-solver for a prominent religious sect, a zany flimflamming sociopath, and a Cuban intelligence agent. In the end, it all comes down to a frantic gamble – to save far more than the truth. So pour yourself a margarita and settle back. You’re in for a high intensity Caribbean carnival ride!
NOTE: Much of this book was originally published as a novel of mine called, “The Truthmaker.” But with the growing popularity of my “Road To Key West” series, I decided to rewrite it and publish it as “Along The Road To Key West.” – Michael Reisig
Buy @ Amazon
Genre - Caribbean Humor, Adventure
Rating – PG
More details about the author
Connect with Michael Reisig through Facebook

Friday, February 21, 2014

The Photo Traveler by Arthur J. Gonzalez @arthurjgonzalez #ReviewShare #MustRead #YA

The Photo TravelerThe Photo Traveler by Arthur J. Gonzalez
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Character development for The Photo Traveler is one of the best I have experienced. Each page adds another layer of familiarity which brings you closer to the main characters. Gavin's character is plausible although some events such as when Gavin is going to be burned alive dragged on unnecessarily. It was great for the first few pages after that it was come on already.

My favourite characters were Estelle and Bud. Their loving relationship and dialogue made me think of my own partner. I'm not too sure about the fact that they did not look out for Gavin in his younger days but in the name of protecting him they felt that no contact was in his best interest and waited for him to contact them. I believe this was also done in the Da Vinci Code with Sophie's character.

Within the context of the story, the time travel feels real and I liked the chants to go into a different time and to come back. They were catchy and cute.

Things I would change in the book are the exclamations, every other sentence felt like the characters were shouting at each other and not talking. I would also include a timeline chart at the beginning or end of the story so readers are able to understand the sequence of events better.

Disclosure - As a Quality Reads Book Club member, I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.


View all my reviews

Thursday, February 20, 2014

#Book Covers Are Like Looking at the Windows on a House for Sale (#Poetry #GoodReads)

Book covers provide the most critical information about your book.  It is just like looking at the windows on a house for sale.  If you like the charm of the windows and the amount of light that you believe those windows will provide the home you will be more likely to look inside.  The book cover is the reader’s invitation to look inside and see what the story is about.
In today’s online market place the cover becomes even more important because it has such competition.  It also has a very small amount of space to “shine.”  Therefore, if your cover is drab it will not stand out and will be lost in the competition.  Bright colors, nice text fonts, even spacing and maybe even a blur about the book by someone that has a good reputation on the front cover can make your book standout.
Here are some great things I learned about covers. The color identifies the tone of the book – red for romance, black for mystery, purple and gold for religious and inspirational works.  Make sure your color matches the mood of the book.  Another thing that I learned is that it really makes a huge difference the fonts that you use – keep plain text fonts for more serious natured books.  Use fun texts for books that are lively, interactive and entertaining. Finally make sure that your name stands out on the cover.  This is important because you are branding yourself.  It’s not enough just to have a nice cover, but people need to remember that you are the author.  Make sure your name stands out.
our_footprints_in_the_sand
This classic collection of poems written by Ewell duPont is heart warming and inspirational. Ewell presents life lessons and outstanding values in each poem. They are for all generations to enjoy.
Buy Now @ Amazon
Genre - Poetry
Rating – G
More details about the author

#SciFi #Excerpt "Superhuman Nature" by Brandon Overall

Neil opened the doors to the library and stepped inside.  He scanned the room, unsure of what exactly he was looking for.
“Can I help you, Sir?”
The librarian behind the desk stood up and spoke to Neil.  He obviously looked lost.  She wore a bright red dress and had her hair back in a bun.  She was curiously pretty and young for a librarian.
“Oh, no thanks ma’am. I’m just looking for someone I was supposed to meet here.”
“Are you looking for Mr. Delmont?  He’s the gentleman sitting over there in the black hat.”
Neil looked where she was pointing, and saw an older looking man sitting down.  He stared directly at Neil with his hands folded on top of the table.  When Neil made eye contact with him, the man bowed his head as a greeting to beckon Neil over.
Neil walked cautiously over to Delmont, scanning the man’s appearance as he inched closer.  His eyes were fixated on the hat.  It was a black wide-brimmed fedora.  It definitely looked unique, but also familiar.  Neil could have sworn he had seen it somewhere before.
“Richard, it’s a pleasure to meet you.  My name is Carl Delmont.  I’m honored that you flew all the way here to speak with me.  That must have been quite the trip.”
The man stood up and held out his hand as Neil got close.  It took Neil a second to remember the alias he had used in the email.  As soon as he heard the man’s old, raspy voice, Neil recognized who it was.  It was the man from his dream - the man who had given him the warning.
Neil tried to hide his surprise from the man as he shook his hand.
“Mr. Delmont, it’s a pleasure.  I was lucky to catch a flight out on short notice.  Thank you for meeting me here like this.  I hope I didn’t ruin any weekend plans of yours.”
Delmont removed his hat and smiled.  His face was wrinkled, despite only being in his mid 50s.  His hair was grey and parted down the middle.  It was relatively long, and extended outwards from his ears.  He had the appearance of a tired man who had lived a full life in half the time.  His bright blue eyes were calm.  Neil didn’t get the impression that he was speaking with a crazy man or a scam artist, but he reserved judgment for a little while at least.
“Please, Carl is fine.  If you don’t mind, I have reserved a study room that we can use to have a more…private conversation.”
Delmont beckoned towards a private study room a little ways away.  Neil felt a bit uncomfortable about going into a soundproof room with a potentially shady guy like Delmont, but his curiosity got the better of him.  He proceeded towards the room, with Delmont trailing silently behind him.
SuperhumanNature
Superhuman Nature is Brandon Overall's first novel. It was written and published during his first deployment to Afghanistan as a 2nd Lieutenant in late 2013.
Neil Hitchens was a senior ROTC Cadet in college. He was just weeks away from graduating and becoming an Officer in the United States Army, until a strange dream set off a chain of events that would twist his life into something he could have never prepared for.
In the days following his dream, several strange happenings occurred that he began to suspect were the result of his own actions. Before long, he discovered that he had the ability to control the world around him with his mind.
What started out as an unpredictable ability quickly evolved into an extraordinary power that had the capacity to change the world. It didn't take long for the government to find out what Neil could do.
They knew having such limitless potential on the side of the US Military could give them limitless political influence, and they would stop at nothing to get Neil to do their bidding. They would find out what happens when you back a dangerous animal into a corner.
Neil spent his whole life believing he would amount to greatness, but he never expected how greatness could corrupt even the most innocent of minds.
Buy @ Amazon & Smashwords
Genre – Science Fiction
Rating – PG-13
More details about the author
Connect with Brandon Overall on Facebook

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Jesse James & the Secret Legend of Captain Coytus by Alex Mueck @AlexMueck #Humor #Historical

The next request was one that he’d personally slipped in. He’d been working on a melody, and suddenly the lyrics had come to him.
The stranger waved down the saloon’s appreciative volume. “In the spirit of humorous songs, next comes a request I’m only vaguely familiar with. I’ll do my best.” He looked down at the paper. “It’s an anonymous dedication. It’s called, ‘Oh Susanna,’ except in this version there’s no ‘banjo on my knee.’”
“Oh, Susanna, forgive me please,
Did I mention I have sexual diseases?
You’re so pretty, and I was drunk.
I’m just a redneck scalawag punk.
Oh, which diseases you may ask?
There are many; the list is vast:
Syphilis, gonorrhea, and the clap.
If only I had my willy wrapped.”

The stranger was quick to notice a hush come over the bar. Some people still clapped along, but most squinted in puzzlement. Apparently, talk like “hanging Negroes” was perfectly acceptable discourse, but public sexual commentary was not.
He took stock of those he’d met. The sheriff retreated to the corner, and there, he poorly faked his prior comatose state. His wife was amused, and her hand did little to stifle giggles. Little Archie sat stoically. Flabbergasted, Edwards twiddled his mustache. Frank number-one-fan James was whooping it up good—all limbs in motion.
Susanna radiantly stood out amongst all. Like a cat, her green eyes appeared to casually take everything in. Her lithe body was at ease but in a blink of an eye, ready to pounce. Her blank expression tried to portray disinterest. Still, the stranger could read the emotions behind her mask. She was both scared and amused, but the small bat of an eye and nod of the head suggested she was also flattered.
Badger Bob was also an easy read. He was trying to act as if the words had no meaning to him, but the pursed lips, determined jaw, and steely gaze suggested otherwise. It was like he was afflicted with a fierce gastro anomaly but trying to be a gentleman about it.
The stranger strummed his way to the second verse.
“Oh, Susanna, forgive me please.
Did I mention I have sexual diseases?
You’re so pretty, your body so firm.
I’m the man with viral sperm.
Oh, which symptoms you may ask?
There are many; the list is vast:
Crabs, cankers, and scaly warts.
An ax should make me eunuch short.

“Probably already is.” (Laughter.)

“Oh, Susanna, forgive me please.
Did I mention I have sexual diseases?
You have nice curves, I love your shape.
I’m a loser who’s forced to rape.
Oh, how could he, thou wonder why?
I beat on girls; check your black eye.
I’m no gentleman, just a scofflaw slob,
Or better known as Badger Bob.”
At the song’s conclusion, there was a smattering of applause, unheard whispers, and a few raucous cheers from Frank James. When it died down, Badger Bob rose to his feet, took two steps toward the stranger, pointed, and barked, “Let’s take this outside.”

JesseJames
"“A historical fiction comedy that packs
as much heart as humor.”
—Michael Dadich, award-winning author of The Silver Sphere
When a Harvard history professor receives a thesis paper titled Jesse James and the Secret Legend of Captain Coytus, from Ulysses Hercules Baxter—an underwhelming student—he assumes the paper must be a prank. He has never read such maniacal balderdash in his life. But after he calls a meeting with the student, Professor Gladstone is dismayed when Baxter declares the work is his own. As he takes a very unwilling Professor Gladstone back in time via his thesis, Baxter’s grade hangs in the balance as he attempts to prove his theory.
It is 1864 as philanderer and crusader Captain Coytus embarks on a mission to avenge his father’s death and infiltrates the Confederate Bushwacker posse looking for the man responsible, Jesse Woodson James. Accompanied by the woman of his dreams, Coytus soon finds himself temporarily appointed to be the sheriff of Booneville and commissions his less-than-loyal deputy to help him carry out his plan.
But when tragedy strikes, the Captain is forced to change his immature ways and redefine his lofty mission—more or less."
Buy Now @ Amazon
Genre - Humor, Historical Fiction
Rating – R
More details about the author
Connect with Alex Mueck on Facebook & Twitter